Nurturing Children's Potential Through Parenting | Building Resilience to Prevent Academic Aversion

Are You Exhausted from Losing Your Temper Again Today?

Starting the morning with "Did you do your homework?" and getting frustrated in the evening with "Haven't you studied yet?"
Before you know it, you've lost your temper with your child again today, spending another night in self-reproach...
While you intellectually understand that "anger doesn't improve grades," seeing other children excel makes you anxious.

"I don't want to get angry anymore." "But I feel like I can't just let things slide." "Other families seem to be doing well, so why is it only us..."
Days pass with these conflicting emotions.

If you read this and thought "Yes, that's exactly it!" you are certainly not alone. In fact, over 90% of parents who come to me for consultation share precisely the same concerns.

I graduated from the University of Tokyo School of Pharmaceutical Sciences and went on to Columbia University for Clinical Psychology, before starting educational session over five years with more than 8,000 children and university students.
I've counseled children who, despite having good academic records, lack self-confidence, or who experience setbacks during entrance exams or job hunting that break their spirits and lead to burnout. Through this experience, I've come to realize that resilience plays a particularly crucial role in maintaining strong and healthy mental well-being.
Within this context, "resilience" (recovery capacity) plays a vital role.
Today, I want to share the approach you should take to draw out your child's inherent potential and, more importantly, to make life easier for us as parents, based on my experience.

The Real Cause of Academic Aversion: Parental Interaction Patterns

1 How Resilience Determines a Child's Life Trajectory
2 The Remarkable Potential of "Late Bloomer" Children
3 Practical Parenting Methods That Don't Get Swayed by Research
4 Four Approaches to Maximize Your Child's Potential

The Real Cause of Academic Aversion: Parental Interaction Patterns

The Harsh Reality I've Witnessed
In my five years of consultation, what pains me most is encountering children who have come to believe they are "incapable."
"I'm just not smart anyway." "I'm no good at anything."
When I hear such words from teenagers, there is almost invariably parental "expectations" or "worry" in the background.
Conversely, some parents come saying, "I don't think our child is suitable for Alpha's level..."
This sometimes stems from modesty, but other times it reflects the parent's own lack of confidence being projected onto the child.
(Incidentally, Alpha welcomes children of various academic backgrounds, grade levels, and experiences from around the world. Academic credentials or grades are not limitations for Alpha's support at all. Rather, we consider soft skills more important: a diligent attitude, the effort to implement advice, the desire to do good things for others, and the dedication to pursue one's passions thoroughly. While academic credentials and studying are simply environmental factors that can change significantly, studying itself is still very important.)
The Tragedy Born from Love
Many parents, out of love for their children, end up interacting in the following ways:

"So-and-so got 100 points, but you..."
"Why can't you solve this problem?"
"You need to try harder"
"If you don't get into XX University, we won't support your education"
I understand that deep love lies behind these words.
However, children receive these as messages saying "I am someone who cannot meet expectations."

The "Curse" That Continues into Adulthood

What's more serious is that these beliefs persist into adulthood.
People in their 30s and 40s come to me for consultation, still convinced that they "lack ability." The parent-child interactions from childhood continue to influence their entire lives.
How Resilience Determines a Child's Life Trajectory
What Power Is Truly Necessary
What I've noticed from observing children who gained admission to the world's top universities is that their common trait wasn't "high IQ" but rather "the ability to bounce back (resilience)."
The power to think "What should I do next?" even after failure. The heart to think "Let me try again" even after stumbling.
This is the true power that opens up life's possibilities.

The Environment That Nurtures Resilience

Resilience develops only in secure environments.
The courage to take on challenges emerges only when children feel "it's okay to fail" and "this is a safe place." Conversely, resilience becomes difficult to develop in environments where children are constantly exposed to evaluation and comparison.

The Remarkable Potential of "Late Bloomer" Children

The Great Turnaround of a Child Who Struggled with Middle School Entrance Exams
In my experience, many children who didn't achieve desired results in middle school entrance exams show dramatic growth in high school.
One student didn't pass their first-choice middle school. However, they suddenly awakened to studying in their second year of high school and ultimately gained admission to a top US university.
Intelligence Can Grow at Any Age
From what I've observed, there is no "too late" for human intelligence.
The growth of children who seriously engage with studying in high school is truly remarkable. Brain plasticity is higher than we imagine, and with the right approach to learning, abilities can be dramatically enhanced at any age.

The Pitfalls of Early Education

Conversely, I've also seen cases where children who received intensive education from early childhood burn out by high school.
What matters is not "when to start" but "in what kind of environment to learn."
Practical Parenting Methods That Don't Get Swayed by Research

Why I Don't Take Research at Face Value

While I value scientific evidence, I don't blindly trust research results because:
Research is conducted on specific groups (cohorts), so there's always bias
Contradictory results often emerge on the same topic
The scope of human observation is actually quite narrow
With AI advancement, completely new discoveries might emerge in 1-2 years
The Truth Revealed in Practice
From my experience working with 8,000 children and university students over five years, there is no single "correct answer" in parenting.
What's important is not being swayed by research results or information, but carefully observing the child in front of you.

Trust Your Parental Intuition

Parents possess an "eye for observing their own child" that researchers don't have. I believe this intuition is more valuable than any research result.

Four Approaches to Maximize Your Child's Potential

1. Stop Making Comparisons "Don't compare with other children" - this is most important. Comparison is the greatest factor in lowering children's self-esteem and undermining resilience. Please recognize that your child is a unique individual with their own pace and methods.
2. Focus on Process Acknowledge effort and attitude, not results. Rather than "You got good test scores," evaluate "You persevered until the end without giving up." This accumulation nurtures children's intrinsic motivation.
3. Welcome Failure Failure is a treasure trove of learning. When your child fails, view it as the perfect opportunity to reflect together and discover what can be learned from it. Children who feel "it's okay to fail" become more willing to take on challenges.
4. Listen to Your Child's Feelings Most importantly, listen to your child's voice. "How are you feeling today?" "What was fun?" "Is there anything troubling you?" Such dialogue time deepens the parent-child trust relationship and becomes the foundation for nurturing the child's resilience.

The Path to True Success - What Does "Success" Really Mean?

Having observed various children's growth over 17 years, I believe true success is "the power to live authentically."
While advancing to high-ranking universities is wonderful, what's more important is the ability to think "I can overcome this" when facing difficulties.

What You Can Do as a Parent

The greatest gift you can give your child is not perfect grades.
It's "the mental strength to believe in oneself and keep moving forward in any situation."
With this strength, your child should be able to find their own authentic path at any stage of life.
Don't Bear Everything Alone

At Alpha Academy, we emphasize not only academic support for children but also resilience development.
Drawing on 17 years of experience, we provide support to bring out each child's true potential while valuing their individual characteristics.
The Most Important Thing
It's creating an environment where your child can think "I'm going to be okay."
Only with this sense of security can children demonstrate their inherent potential.
If you have concerns about your child's education or development, please don't bear them alone - reach out for consultation. Let's work together to brighten your child's future.

Free Consultation Available Now!

Would you like to explore your child's current situation and potential together with us?
We provide specific and practical advice on academic counseling, study strategies, overseas high school and university admissions, and more.
Start with a free consultation today!

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Advisor Profile
Emy Saka
Alpha Academy CEO/Alpha Advisors COO:
After graduating from a private girls' academy high school, studied brain function, memory, and depression research at the University of Tokyo School of Pharmaceutical Sciences and Graduate School of Pharmaceutical Sciences. After graduation, worked in new drug development at a pharmaceutical company. Pursued research in mental care and neuropsychology, including cognitive behavioral therapy and developmental psychology, at Columbia University Graduate School (Clinical Psychology major).
As an educational (entrance exam) and career advisor at Alpha Advisors, has provided advice to over 8,000 working professionals, students, and parents over five years. Particularly renowned for her advice on University of Tokyo entrance exams and early learning from childhood.
Currently, operating Mental Lab as the representative of a mental care business, helping students and working professionals suffering from exam depression, job-hunting depression, and social withdrawal to recover confidence and achieve their goals. She developed the "Alpha Genius AI Advanced Learning System," which is well-received for enabling anyone, anywhere to build foundational skills at the fastest pace and lowest cost. There has been umerous testimonials stating she "understands clients' pain" and "provides not just temporary solutions but fundamental problem resolution."